Apr
15
13 ways to spend your student loan
Filed Under Uncategorized |
Yes, the days of paying University fees are here and they are here to stay, yet the other thing that comes with the package is the Student Loan! Free money! (or that’s how it feels in the early days!). So what are you going to do with your loan, once you’ve got all the nuts and bolts of university life taken care of? Here are some suggestions for you.
- Buy that horse that daddy never got you. He was always a big meaney for not doing it, you deserve it!
- Then pay for all the extra’s, stabling, feed, pet insurance, saddles, shoeing etc till you’re spent.
- Hire hard looking body guards for the first week and pretend that you are royalty and or rich.
- Buy a fleet of mopeds then set up a business hiring them out to students on the side.
- Invest in an ISA (low risk, low return)
- Invest in property (medium risk, medium return)
- Invest in Illegal Drugs (high risk, HUGE return)
- Have cosmetic surgery to look like your favourite film star, and then refer to suggestion 3 in this list.
- Buy a piano.
- Pay for your funeral well in advance.
- Buy life insurance, and then hang yourself. You’ll make a killing on the financial return.
- Do nothing all year, then hire a team of crack comado’s to attack and destroy the cabinet with your examination papers before they are marked. It will be their fault that the papers were lost, and they will be forced to pass you despite the fact that the only thing you learnt was how to find the A team.
- Have the A Team assassinated. Evil, yes, but your name will become immortal…